Why do students give up Tai Chi?

People give up for many reasons but the principle one (and the one all the others can be boiled down to) is FEAR. Most people can only take things so far. Any further and they'd have to change beyond recognition, (which is precisely why I do it). When Robert W Smith asked Cheng Man Ching why none of his students were as good as he, he said, "Because they don't believe". The Tai Chi (or the Tao, through the Tai Chi) is constantly battering the person with the need for change and eventually that person either changes or they give up. John once said, "Most people would rather die than change". I remember about a year ago an advanced student of John's came down here to work with us. He is quite stiff and severe, but John managed to shift his energy (through slight bullying) and got him to work in a most delightful, spritely (spirited) and humourful way. It was wonderful because I knew that was what he was really like and that his normal demeanour was an unnatural armour. His transformation allowed the session to blossom into a life changing experience for all of us (it certainly inspired me for months). However, we haven't seen that person since, and by all accounts he has retreated even further into his shell.

Change is difficult. It requires courage, and plenty of it. Something in you has to be really interested in the unrealised possibilities within yourself and really dissatisfied with the way you are. When my teacher called me a turd that time it was a real eye-openner. What have I (and you) got to lose?

Also something as deep as Tai Chi or Heartwork (which is far deeper) requires an ever deepening commitment from the student, otherwise they get stuck, demoralised, bored and hence give up. Which brings us on to motivation. My teacher used to say that people start Tai Chi for all types of reasons: self-defence, relaxation, society, health, etc. However, as they continue with the Tai Chi their motivation should change into a spiritual one (without necessarily calling it that). They should do the Tai Chi to battle their ego and find the heart of their heart, the same as their teacher. Unless the student is travelling a similar path to the teacher's there will be no fruitful transmission of energy, no sympathy and no resonance - no real reason to spend time together. If the student's motivation doesn't begin to shift then they will eventually give up.

The Tibetan's say that the greatest good fortune is to find great teaching. And the biggest stupidity is to refuse great teaching when you find it.

Giving up Tai Chi or Heartwork is fine. But never give up the connexion you have with your teacher (in your heart, at least). They are far more important to you than you could ever imagine. If you honour and cherish that connexion then you effectively remain a student and your energy and heart will continue developing even though your body may never again go through the motions.

Thanks to the other Kevin for asking the questions.