14 September 2005

Courage & Softness

I am little interested in whether a student shows courage in anything other than the only fight I consider worthwhile which is the one with the ego, the one with what it is that prevents the heart from manifesting in every particle of that person. People who practice their courage through dangerous activities are as far from this as anyone, their courage is so often just a hard skin they have erected around their fundamental fear: the fear of being connected to others: the fear of heart; and their false courage is actually an impediment to their ability to connect and show compassion. Take a look at the average US soldier to see evidence of this. If the courage you are practising doesn't make you softer to the touch then it is false courage.

The fundamental problem in Tai Chi and Heartwork - the thing that unifies these two quite different disciplines - is yielding. How do you respond to energy coming towards you in such a way that you do not inhibit it and do not get knocked off balance by it? How do you join with it and use it to thrust you more energetically into your life and destiny? What interests me about thunder for example is the fact that all children are frightened by it, as I was, and that the more Tai Chi I do the more I am becoming yet again frightened by it, I just realise now that the fear I feel is an aspect of my energy waking up. A scientific, religious or other explanation of what thunder is simply helps me ignore my energetic responses - it encourages me to cut off from what is actually happening, energetically, between me and the thunder. Fear cannot really be rationalised away.

The more Tai Chi I do and the more time I spend with my teacher the more I am convinced that the only way forwards in life (real yielding) comes through compassionate (unselfish) interactions with others, from putting others first. This is not easy: by all accounts Mother Teresa was as hard as nails to the touch - a sure indication that she got it wrong; to go out of your way to do good is just as much an ego-trip as anything else.

Softness and compassion are very similar. A soft touch is one that lingers and enters, with an opening, welcoming, searching and gracious heart (John Kells). If this doesn't manifest in the quality of the touch then it isn't happening.

Tai Chi and Heartwork are in fact simple and straightforward. You just need the intelligence to start and the courage to continue. You learn to love and admire your teacher and you learn to love and assist your companions. All of you have something to offer and all of you progress. The communal heart. The living heart.

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