13 May 2006

Riding the dragon

Most martial artists strive for invulnerability, and gauge their level by their ability to defeat others. In our discipline we strive (if that's the right word) for vulnerability – the ability to be defeated by pretty much everything in the sense of being ripped open by the reality of that other's presence and forced, as a consequence, to connect on their terms – our humility refuses us terms of our own. This may sound easy, or even trivial – just strive for incompetence – but in fact it is the most difficult thing of all to accomplish. It requires an internal emptiness – a lack of self – and an unquenchable appetite for moving forwards – onwards and outwards – fearlessly. The internal emptiness stops us becoming a target – others find nothing to stick to, or purchase on, in our presence – something that can confuse, irritate, anger or delight, but which usually just causes others to pass us by as though we are of little consequence. Nothing could be further from the truth, and it is the manner in which we drive forwards that attests to this. The average person moves forwards in life egocentrically – they take with them an enormous baggage which gets bigger and bigger with each new experience, and with each new experience they get stronger – more robust, more armoured – better able to take similar experiences in their stride. So, in a sense, relative to that baggage, they don't really move forwards at all. On the odd occasion when their ego deserts them – usually when put under intense emotional stress – the shock is so great that the last thing they are capable of is taking a great stride forwards into the beckoning unknown and leaving their precious cargo behind. We struggle to drive forwards relative to all that is worldly, a feat that is only really possible, continuously, if we have the heart to feel the connexion we naturally have with some part of that beckoning – a part my teacher labels destiny, for want of a better word. If that connexion is established (the only reasonable fear is the one of losing that connexion) then as long as you are doing work to loosen the shackles of ego then there will always be a net movement forwards. My teacher calls this riding the dragon. Riding, not grasping. Gradually picking up speed. The faster you ride the more of you gets flung to the wind until eventually there is nothing left to prevent you from becoming the dragon itself.

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